Walk On Podcast Episode 50 : Holy Shit!!! I’ve Made 50 Episodes!!!

Consistency is key.

That’s what I kept reading every time I googled “how to make podcasting your job”. Consistency is key. Consistency for me may not look like someone else’s definition of consistency. I want to quit. A lot. As in, often. I get discouraged. I feel the fear—the sheer terror—that comes with being so very vulnerable every week with the intention of being heard. Then, I inevitably find that my listenership is still 1-10 people every week, and I want to quit because I’m not being heard. I was in a good groove, averaging about 30 listeners a week when I started this journey over two years ago and lost steam thanks to capitalism and the stress of surviving under it, too exhausted to create. I would lose an essential resource, I would get sick, a global pandemic would happen, and I’d have to take 3 months off.

LOL!!!

But, inevitably, I would return. Because I love doing this show. After a good 28 years of being pretty silent, pretty docile, pretty self-doubtful, pretty wounded— or if I did dare to speak up, quickly and effectively punished—it feels fucking good to talk uninterrupted for an hour a week. It feels good to have someone—even one person—reach out and say “I really needed to hear that last episode.” It feels amazing to put something positive and good-intentioned out in the world; not for the purpose of making money or getting recognized or attaining some sort of illusory status, but just for the sake of making the world a little softer, a little gentler, and a little more healed. I do it to be the messenger I didn’t have, but so badly needed.

This week’s Walk On Podcast is a celebration of 50 whole ass episodes!! Been screaming into the void consistently inconsistently for 2 years!!! And I’ve barely made any inside-the-matrix progress, but on a red pill level, I’m doin’ alright. Here for anyone who needs a kind word or permission to Walk On. Listen here.

Let this be a reminder to keep on keepin on. All that really matters is that you’re having fun :)