Living With Intention
Do something today
that your future self
will thank you for.
There is a before and an after to my life.
Before healing
and after.
The best way I can ever find to describe what it felt like before is being asleep. Existence felt like a dream; hazy, distant, just beyond my consciousness. I was hardly ever present.
In therapy speak, I was dissociated. I had spent so much of my time chilling outside my body (as a survival mechanism, of course) that it became my primary way of being. The moments where I was able to find presence stick out to me, looking back. Like the beam from a lighthouse, guiding me home.
I can understand why so many unconscious people find it so hard to take responsibility. When you are asleep, nothing feels like your choice. Your trauma guides all your decisions. We become addicted to running the same scenarios over and over again, trying to manifest the desired outcome (I am worthy of love, I am good enough, I am safe, I am whole) through similar situations to the one that caused the wound in the first place. It makes sense, but it usually doesn’t work that way. Instead, we eventually have to learn that we shouldn’t have been put in harm’s way, to begin with. Adapting to abuse isn’t a healthy roadmap for life. We learn to put down our walls and weapons, to grieve, to love and be loved, and to choose.
It’s a bruised and bloody battle. My metaphors are always things like jumping out of planes, crawling through barbed wire, standing on a cliff facing a towering shadow monster—the journey to awakening isn’t easy. But it is beautiful.
Living with intention is a commitment to being present. It’s a choice made in every single moment. Yes, there is faltering, there is slipping back into old patterns, there is failure, but there is also a new opportunity to commit, with every single Right Now. A fresh start.
Anything can be done with intention. Loving with intention means understanding your own blocks, wounds, and projections, and ensuring to communicate carefully and with love, instead of defensively or reactionarily. It’s being proactive and productive. It means never going on the attack or hitting below the belt. It’s giving your presence, your respect, and your understanding. It’s knowing when to give the Benny of the Doubt™ and using your discernment in choosing who to love. It’s knowing when the kindest choice is to walk away. Eating with intention means honoring your hunger, nourishing your body the way it needs, recognizing when you are nourished, choosing foods that help you instead of hurt you. Sometimes, for me, that’s french fries and dairy-free ice cream, sometimes it’s a smoothie and a salad. It’s almost always (about 99%) gluten-free lol. Shopping with intention means doing your due diligence, making sure you aren’t buying mindlessly or out of compulsion or emotional pain. Activism and art with intention means creating from a place of true generosity and integrity, instead of ego. It means checking that capitalist grind-mindset bullshit at the door. Living with intention is putting the ego in the backseat and leading with love.
There is a discomfort that comes with living with intention—it doesn’t really let you get but so petty. It often leads you to take the high road when what you’d really like to do is get down in the mud and start swinging. It means feeling those pangs of shame and regret (and I mean really feeling them) when looking back on moments where you didn’t know better yet. It means understanding the weight of the consequences of every decision.
It isn’t all hard work, though. There is a gentleness, a bright light, a profound wisdom and magnetism that emanate from someone who lives with intention. They are the kind of people who always seem to know what to say. They are the kind of people who have a positive impact on most people they meet. They become the kind of people that garner great respect, not out of fear or intimidation—they are not tyrants, bending everyone to their will with brute force or manipulation—they just walk their talk. And that’s contagious.
I encourage you, from wherever you are on your healing journey, no matter how many mistakes you’ve made or how far you’ve fallen, make the choice to be intentional with how you move through the world, how you consume, how you connect, how to speak to yourself, and notice what happens. Do you feel lighter? More loving? Do you feel like you have your wits about you? Can you feel it? Is the gratitude settling in?
Listen Here
#beintentional #howtobeintentional #setanintention #spirituality #spiritualawakening #recovery #traumarecovery #cptsdrecovery #addiction #addictionrecovery #peace #innerpeace #wisdom #authenticity #corevalues #corememory #dissociation #meditation #precense #howtobehappy #howtofeelbetter #awareness #ego #mentalhealth #mentalhealthblog #recoveryblog #spiritualityblog #podcast #mentalhealthpodcast #spiritualpodcast #recoverypodcast #beyourself #belove #love #agape #unconditionallove #selflove #selfloveblog #selflovepodcast #selfhelp #selfhelpblog #seflhelppodcast #selfcare #selfcareblog #selfcarepodcast #healing #healingblog #healingpodcast #personalgrowth #personalgrowthblog #personalgrowthpodcast
