The Call is Coming from Inside the House

We all know it.

A phone rings.

The babysitter’s head turns toward it and

picks it up.

The breathing on the other side makes her angry

This isn’t funny, BRAD!!

She hangs up.

The phone rings again.

And again.

And again.

No matter how many times she hangs up and then,

a voice

Have you checked the children?

It’s all a game of cat and mouse

when the cops tracing the call tell her

The call is coming from inside the house!

This urban-legend-turned-horror-trope is the perfect metaphor for the ego’s way of protecting itself with the artful dance of projection. We’ve all done it—pointed the finger at someone else for what we later discover to be what I call a “me problem.”

Whomst among us hasn’t put the burden of soothing one of our wounds onto someone we love? Or an achievement? Or the culmination of something we’ve dreamed about and obsessed over only to find that when we get the thing we thought would heal us, that infernal wound is still there?!

That’s because everything we experience has a tether to a root inside of us. Our wounding is never our fault, but our healing is our responsibility. Until we understand that what we experience as external is actually giving us a clue as to what is going on within us, the world feels like endless suffering.

And honestly it kind of still is…

BuUuuUt once we understand the infinite love of the universe— that we are being guided towards self-actualization and our own highest good, we realize that everything is already working out in our favor.

The ability to take something terrible and make it work for you is a superpower. It isn’t easy. It’s really brave, it requires a deep committment to radical self-acceptance and forgiveness, and you have to be willing to care for yourself in your darkest moments, to pick yourself up no matter how many times you fall down, to take responsibility for what’s yours and to leave the rest behind.

An ego death is painful. There is grief even in positive change. There is grief even in healing. Sometimes the wounding we’ve endured can trick us into thinking that’s who we are. Being stuck with your abusers in childhood can make you believe yourself to be stuck for the rest of your life. Having someone constantly undermine your worth when you’re little can follow you around forever. Being abandoned can cause a fight, flight, freeze or fawn response pattern that can get you into some sticky situations.

It is so important to take an inventory of our feelings, to analyze and question why we do the things we do and why we perceive things the way we do. It is so crucial to not take our perception at face value. After all, it may simply be projection. But also, it’s so necessary to get in touch with our intuition, for it usually plays the pivotal role of the voice of reason.

The process of questioning and considering every thought and feeling and reactionary impulse may seem daunting at first, but I like to think of it as clearing the cobwebs that have been taking up space in my energy since the first time I didn’t feel loved properly. The clarity that can dawn is unshakable. It helps protect you from the projections of others. It helps you not be so afraid of conflict. It makes solving a problem as simple as finding a solution, instead of an all out war.

Self-awareness is the gift that keeps on giving. Understanding yourself sweetens all other connections. It protects you from things thrown at you by less aware individuals, and it allows you to access a higher level of compassion, understanding, and love.

Looking in the healing mirror and getting past the ego’s attempt to protect itself can be terrifying. But this is work that only you can do—even (and probably especially) when it seems like it’s someone else’s problem, or something someone else is doing to you.

Always remember,

the call is coming from inside the house.

Listen Here

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