What is the Opposite of Shame?

Jun 8

Written By Britt Cannon

Queerness has never not existed.

Queerness will never not exist.

Many have tried to un-exist us.

They have all motherfucking failed.

The bigotry of queerphobia is a campaign of shame.

They want us to feel ashamed of who we are.

I know the 2010 Born This Way narrative of allyship and the attempt to appeal to the cis-hetero status quo feels a bit hokey and regressive now, because “we can’t help ourselves” isn’t as deep or nuanced as the technicolor experience of queerness really is. The truth is, if I had a choice, I would choose queerness every time. In fact, I do and am and will every day for the rest of my life.

Shame is a toxic monster. Shame is an infectious disease. Shame sits in your gut and eats you from the inside. Keeping your identity, your truth a secret can make life unbearable. To want someone—a marginalized community—to feel shame, to want them to repress their truth, to want them to go back in the closet is a crusade of evil. For much queer youth, it’s a death sentence.

For many extremist right-wing Christians, that’s the point.

Releasing shame is revolutionary. For oppressed people, shame is simply the mental program of the oppressor. It’s nothing but something false that you were taught. It’s so difficult to hear the loving guidance of your own inner voice when the program of the white supremacist cis heteropatriarchy is turned up to 11. But once you do, nobody can shake your foundation of self-love. Once you do, you are liberated internally, which keeps your cup full as you fight to be liberated externally.

The reality is, historically speaking, queer people have always been a target